Christmas, Memories, and Toys
by astridt244
Summary: Entry to the TR Holidays Contest - What would Christmas with the Wolf Pack be like?


_**Do Not Own Twilight. The characters, names, locations, and anything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**_

**One Shot Entry for the Tricky Raven - Holidays Contest**

**Pairing**: Jacob/Bella, and the Wolf Pack

**Genre**: General/Humor/Romance

**Universe**: AU

**Rating**: MA

* * *

"_I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."_

_- Woody Allen_

**Christmas, Memories, and Sex Toys**

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" Billy's voice boomed from the porch.

The Black house resembled a holiday dream. Lights everywhere, candy canes, an inflated Santa on a sleigh, and even the tree in front had ribbons wrapped around it. Bella could hardly believe her eyes. She looked up at Jacob, his hands still on her shoulders after 'unveiling' his masterpiece, "You did this?"

His throaty chuckle sent chills down her spine. "Mostly, yeah. The pack helped some though."

Just then, Quil and Paul wrestled their way out of the front door. "Merry Christmas, Bells! Fuck, Quil! Move!"

"You move, Ass!"

"A fine ass at that."

Quil snorted out a laugh and picked up Paul, tossing him across the yard. Paul landed on his feet and shot off the ground, tackling Embry as he walked by.

Emily peeked out the open window, "Bella! Get in here and help with these cookies!"

Another car pulled in next to the truck; Kim twisted her body out of the passenger side and waddled up the stairs. "Get the hell away from me, Jared!"

Bella turned in Jake's arms, "Thank you. For everything." She grabbed his shirt and yanked him down for a kiss. His hold on her waist tightened, he pressed her up against the side of her truck.

Jared slammed the trunk of his car closed, startling the couple. "Get a fucking room."

Bella giggled and nudged Jacob away. "You're just jealous."

"Damn right I am. You know how hard it is to have sex with a woman who is 57 weeks pregnant?"

Paul and Embry finished thrashing each other on the snow and helped Jared with some of the gifts. Paul ruffled Jared's hair, "Women can't be pregnant for more than 42 weeks, technically."

"Why do you know that?" Jared asked.

Paul shrugged his shoulders and kept striding toward the house. "I'm the kid's godfather. What kind of prick would I be if I didn't know when to expect him?"

Jared hollered after him, "It's a _girl_, you idiot!"

Bella smiled contentedly. This was a family.

For a brief moment, Alice invaded her thoughts. It had been years since she came to Charlie's because she thought she was 'dead'...

* * *

As soon as she saw the vampire, Jacob went ballistic and left to inform the pack. Alice talked about her family; she called Rosalie and informed her that Bella was in fact alive and to let the rest of the Cullen's know - Edward included. At that moment, an epiphany of sorts beamed down on Bella. All the lies, manipulations, and preconceived insecurities were illuminated. She didn't want to just... _exist_, if that could even describe it, anymore. She wanted to laugh, to cry, to love, and to do so much more with her life.

Two days later, Alice left, and Edward showed up at her school parking lot. Bella pinched herself to see if she was hallucinating again... nope, he was really there. She remained silent during his speech; he begged for forgiveness and another chance. She found herself wishing his voice was deeper, his skin warmer, darker... she found herself wishing Jacob was there instead of Edward.

He startled, and appeared as though someone punched him in the stomach. Bella touched his arm, cold seeped into her skin, she jerked back and asked him if he was alright. A slow, sad smile graced his lips, "I heard you."

Bella's gasped in shock. "You... what? How's that... I mean-"

"It's alright, Bella. I understand now... I could never compete with a true human life, could I?"

She had no response. It was true. She knew what she wanted. She survived without him, and the one aspect of that nightmare that shone like the brightest star in the sky was Jacob.

Edward's crooked grin alerted her to his intrusion. She frowned, "It's not nice to listen in on people's thoughts."

His bell like laugh made her teeth clench. A strange reaction for her. He feigned catching his breath, "It's as though I am listening to a radio on a poor frequency. I only catch glimpses of your thoughts, but it is enough for me to comprehend that you are in fact happy with Jacob."

A rumbling growl tore through the parking lot. Stalking toward her, a very domineering -_very sexy_ - Jacob. When he reached her, he hauled her to him and crushed their lips together. Public displays of affection had never been something Bella liked... _until then_...

Edward took his leave. He shook hands with Ephraim Black's heir and relayed the promise of his coven leader - they would not return to the state of Washington for the next few generations of Quileute children. This bit of information demanded the mother of all bonfires... which ended in Paul, Quil, Embry, and Seth getting arrested by Chief Swan, for illegally obtaining fireworks.

* * *

"Bella! Get your little ass in here and help Emily with these fucking cookies!" Kim bellowed from somewhere inside the house.

Jacob cringed. "Please don't get like that when we have kids."

Bella gazed at him and batted her eyelashes dreamily, "You wouldn't love me if I acted like an insane person?"

Leah jogged up the driveway, arms full of bagged gifts, "Don't let Crazy Cameron hear that shit. She might force a lamaze class on you as punishment." She shuddered at the memory.

Jacob snatched up one of her purple bags before it hit the ground. "Where's Mike?"

"He'll be here in about an hour. He forgot his gift in his locker at Newton's."

Bella hugged Leah, and the three members of the pack family made their way into the loud, cheerful home.

* * *

Quil's mother, Joy, drove by to give Billy a ride to the less rambunctious dinner with Tiffany, Sue, and Charlie. Old Quil had to be carried home, drunk off his ass on Patrick Littlesea's moonshine. When Seth returned from the Ateara residence, the real party started. At the Thanksgiving get together, Bella mentioned the idea of a Naughty-Secret Santa, and the pack loved it.

"How are we gonna do this?" Jake asked.

Kim narrowed her eyes at Jared, _again_. "Fine! I'll fucking go first."

Paul slinked his way across the room before retorting, "Damn, Kim. That's one filthy mouth you've acquired with that pup in your belly. Giving me a run for my money. I'm feeling like a proud mama right now."

Leah slapped him in the back of the head, "Moron. Quit taunting Crazy Cameron."

Kim tried to stand, unsuccessfully, and clawed at Jared to help her. "What did you just call me? Son of a... Let me up, Jared! I'm gonna hit that bitch!"

"No. Just relax, stay on the couch. I haven't been able to take you anywhere because you act like _this_. Calm down."

Leah sat next to Kim, put her arm around the pregnant imprint's shoulders and squeezed her affectionately. "Awww, don't be offended. It's a cute nickname. You _are _a little crazy, and you're married to Cameron. Just go with it... now, where's your gift?"

Jared was stunned stupid. Kim's anger vanished, and a smile replaced the damn near permanent scowl his wife had been sporting. "You're the crazy-pregnant lady whisperer."

"My woman is smart, isn't she?" Mike said after kicking the snow off his boots out on the porch. "Merry Christmas! Did I miss Perverted Santa?"

Quil sat near the pile of presents, sweat collecting on his brow, hands itching to tear into some gifts. Embry flicked his ear with his finger, "Go sit somewhere else. You do that shit on purpose. If any of those gifts is opened, I'm gonna kick your ass. Secret Santa means you don't know who got your name when we picked."

"Don't you mean Porno Santa?" He asked while soothing his ear.

Mike settled in beside Leah and thoroughly kissed her. "Missed you."

She smirked, glancing down at his pants, "I can tell."

"Mike, cover that fucking boner! Nobody wants to see my sister hump you." Seth exasperated.

Bella knew if she didn't take control of the situation it would be midnight before they exchanged the first present. She carefully made her way to the coffee table, avoiding the long legs of Sam, Quil and Embry. Once she reached where the boxes were, she whistled to catch everyone's attention. "This is how it's going to go - Kim first, and whoever she was paired with goes next and so on. Any questions? Quil, put your hand down."

"It wasn't even up yet," he grumbled.

Jacob arranged his erection in his shorts. Bossy Bella turned him on. She winked at him, making him groan and get harder. "Unless you're ready to take care of my problem..."

Bella cheeks flamed, "Later. Come on, let's get this show on the road. Kim?"

Kim whispered to Leah which one was hers and who it was for. Leah grabbed the present wrapped in flowery, hot pink paper and tossed it at Quil.

"Sweet!"

He shredded the packaging and pulled out the contents, scrunching his nose at the offending object. "Uh, Kim. What the fuck is this?"

"It's your present."

"It's a fucking leash."

"I know," she tittered.

Quil glared at the hormonal woman, "How is this supposed to help me get kinky with someone?"

Embry's cleared his throat, "You use it during role playing or in BDSM scenes."

Everyone turned to stare at the shyest member of the pack. Paul's jaw dropped. Embry was nonplussed by the attention. "Being quiet doesn't make me an inept virgin."

Feeling giddy, Quil put away his gift and thanked Kim. He then chucked the present wrapped in comics to Paul.

"Oh god. You? Do I need safety goggles to open it?" Paul cautiously opened the small bin and looked inside. "Are you kidding? Angela's gonna love this."

Quil grinned. "Innocent my-"

"Careful. That's my imprint you're talking about. Lucky she had to spend time with her folks tonight or she'd have beaten you with a rolled up newspaper again." Paul showed the container of edible panties to the rest of the audience.

The girls hooted and whistled at the cherry flavored delicacy.

Paul got his two presents from the pile, the first from Angela. "Since she couldn't be here tonight, I'm doing hers and then mine." He dropped one of the boxes on Sam's lap. "From Ang."

Sam unwrapped it much more reverently than everyone else. His eyes widened and his cheeks tinged red. Quil was having a fit not knowing what it was. "Show us, Sam!"

Emily made her way to her imprint and sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. You broke your last one after I made you sleep on the couch last week. Maybe now I can catch a break. Seriously, honey, next time, don't ask for thirds when I'm barely awake."

Sam's face deepened in color. Embry quickly stole the gift and ran across the room. He snooped in the box, then bit his lip to keep from laughing. "It's a super-suction action stroker."

Kim was confused. "What's that?"

Jared rubbed his wife's shoulders, "Sweetheart, it's for masturbating. Guys use them to add extra friction while jerking-"

"On my god! Angela got you that?! And you broke one!" Kim bursted out laughing.

Sam hid away his present. "Yeah, well, Jared will need one when you're out of commission."

Quil was baffled, "I don't even want to know _how _you broke one. I've had mine for months and she's working out just fine."

"She?" Leah asked.

"Can't have a sex toy and not name it. That's like having a cat and calling it _cat_. It's stupid."

"You don't even like cats."

"Do you? Those fuckers are creepy."

"Hey!" Seth yelled. "Let's get back to giving out presents for Slutty Santa. Fuck! I'm ready to go see Aiyanna, not sit here all night with happy couples talking about fucking and choking the chicken."

Paul's anxious energy made his Alpha stand at attention. His hand twitched as he gave Bella her present. She raised her eyebrow at him, "No jokes?"

"Just open it."

Jacob glared at his subordinate. "Nervous, huh?"

His mate's squeal and excitement wiped away any worries he had. At least she was happy.

"How did you know? Wait, no don't tell me. I've been wanting Jake to try these!"

The Alpha popped his neck, towering over his pack. "What is it, Bells?"

She smacked his arm, "Quit using your woo-woo intimidating Alpha tone. You know it doesn't work on me. And it's something _fun _for us."

Bella handed him the glow-in-the dark cock rings.

Quil and Sam fell over laughing. Embry grinned at his best friend, "Problems?"

Paul busied himself trying to figure out the distance between the couch and the door. Bella stumbled to him and hugged him as tight as she could. "Thank you, thank you. It's so embarrassing to go to stores like that by myself, and you saved me a trip, and this is amazing, I'm going to kill Angela, but I love it."

Paul chuckled and hugged her back, "Breathe, girl. You're welcome," he leaned in and whispered, "Can you make sure the Alpha doesn't strangle me? I'm pretty attached to my balls and would like to give Angela a few kids first."

Bella snickered, "Don't worry about him, I know just what to do."

She threw Embry's gift at him and strode over to Jacob. She knew he could smell her and it turned her on even further. "Bring the toys. We're going to the garage." She tugged him out the door, ignoring the rest of the pack, and they rushed to their favorite place.

* * *

Jacob turned her around when they reached the couch, and ripped off her pants. "This whole time you haven't been wearing panties?"

She grabbed the arm of the sofa, her nails digging into the material while he took his time caressing her swollen sex. She gasped and rocked her hips. "Put on the ring."

He bent down to pick one up, only to be met with the gorgeous sight of her glistening pussy. His tongue slipped over her folds, teasing her with short, soft licks. Bella moaned and swayed back and forth with his luscious mouth. He fumbled with the plastic covering of the ring, multitasking while still giving his mate pleasure.

Finally securing it on, he straightened up, spread her sweet lips and roughly thrust into her. He grabbed a handful of her bottom and spanked her once. Bella groaned and panted, begging him to move.

The tiny remote fell from his hand just as he pushed the button. "Oh, shit!"

The added sensations made everything more sensitive. He wrapped her loose, brown curls around his hand and yanked her back, hard. Jacob ground his hips to hers, allowing the nub on the ring to touch her clit.

"Feels... so, good," she moaned.

The couch squeaked loudly under his forceful, steady strokes. Heavy breathing, moaning, skin slapping together, and the vibrating sound filled the garage.

"Close... yes, don't stop," Bella whimpered.

He continued to ravage her; kissing and biting anywhere he could reach bare skin. A loud growl burst from him, "Come for me," his pace quickened. She was so in tune with him, her mate, her love, the electric waves of her orgasm thundered through her.

The chilled tingles of his own release made his toes curl. Bella's body gripped him, milking every drop he had as she rode the aftershocks. They both toppled over onto the battered couch, gasping for oxygen. Bella giggled, the damn cock ring was still on. Jacob shuddered and blindly searched for the lost remote.

"Fuck! Bells! Find the remote!" He exclaimed.

Bella shuffled under him, and held her breath when Jacob hardened again. "Jake.." she moaned.

He leered at her and rolled his hips against her. "Merry Christmas."

"Uh-mmm." She licked her lips, watching his muscles and his abs tense and twitch with his rhythm.

Best Christmas present, _ever_.

* * *

_Thank you for reading. :) Merry Christmas!_

* * *

Because I got asked more than once during the contest...

_**Here is the Naughty-Perverted-Slutty-Porno Secret Santa Gift List. **_

From: Kim, To: Quil - Sub's Collar & Leash

From: Quil, To: Paul - Edible Panties (Cherry Flavor)

From: Angela (Absent from Party), To: Sam - Super-Suction Action Stroker

From: Paul, To: Bella - 3 Pack Glow-in-the-dark Vibrating Cock Rings

From: Bella, To: Embry - Convenient Under Your Bed Restraint Kit

From: Embry, To: Aiyanna (Seth's Girl - Absent from Party) - Leather Cuffs

From: Aiyanna, To: Mike - The Fleshlight

From: Mike, To: Angela - Pole Dancing Set-up Kit

From: Sam, To: Kim - Gift Card to Port Angeles Sex Store (Since she's pregnant...)

From: Seth, To: Emily - Sexy Fetish Door Swing

From: Emily, To: Jared - Super-Suction Action Stroker [Sam can attest to it being a good toy.]

From: Jared, To: Leah - Vibrating Nipple Clamps [Mike begged him to get them for Leah. ;)]

From: Leah, To: Jacob - Hot Purple Vibrating Panties

From: Jacob, To: Seth - Blow-Up Sex Doll (Thick Rhonda - She'll teach the pup how to handle a thicker girl. ;) Lol!)

_**Merry Christmas!**_


End file.
